Friday, September 23, 2011

Perceptions..

This journey has been long.  It has been tough..and heartbreaking at times but I truly believe with all my heart that good will come out of this.  There will be a happy ending. I'm not saying that it is definitely going to be the ending that I am expecting but good will come out of this experience..this dream of ours.

What really breaks my heart every day are the perceptions of adoption that so many people now have as they watch our family wait for literally years for our daughter.  I know when so many shake their heads and can't believe the timeframe it does seem quite unbeleivable but I want people to know that adoption isn't always as challenging as this.  Not everyone's story is like ours in fact I know so many people that waited a relatively short time for their babe.  My dream would be to inspire someone else to bring home a child through adoption if that is what is in their hearts, not to feel discouraged through our journey.  Adoption is beautiful and risky but so worth it.

I pray with everything in me that we are joined with our daughter soon.  We long to finally look into her eyes but I also know that if the unthinkable happens and our course changes direction then we have planted a seed in our son's hearts.  They perceive adoption as a beaufiful way to build a family.  It is normal for them to speak about adoption.  They have friends who were adopted and they think it's "cool"...our son's friends ask me a lot of questions which is so wonderful to have a natural conversation about something that when I was growing up was kept in a "hushed" tone.

I guess these thoughts have been heavy on me lately. 

Praying for good news soon.

xo

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Back in the saddle...

Here we go! Schedules, routines, packin' lunches, 5:30 AM hockey practice...we are in full swing again just a short two weeks into fall.  This past summer was definitely a wonderful time filled with soo many fun memories for all of us.  The weather cooperated all summer which always makes it especially when you are in a tent next to a beautiful lake with two adventurous boys. We have definitely played hard so as I told the boys last night when they grumbled about homework..I guess it's now time to work hard so we can play again...

I love fall, I love the feeling of new beginnings and for me it means organizing and more organizing..we are finally getting our basement finished which will allow us sooo much more space.  The truth is, when we moved in, we really thought we would be heading to South Africa fairly soon to meet our daughter and therefore didn't want to be in the middle of construction with everything else going on.  Then, well..we kept putting it off for the same reason and now we are really feeling the need for some space.  We found a company that will do the whole thing in a month!  Wow, I watch Holmes on Holmes so I'm totally skeptical but all in all they totally seem like a great crew and all references panned out so here we go!  I'm secretly hoping that since now we have made the move to go ahead, our biggest wish will now come true..The good news is our new little one will have lots of space to play and explore during the cold winter months.

I have had a couple wonderful friends pass on the most beautiful little girls clothes that you ever did see. I just melt when I picture our little munchkin toddling around in the little dresses. Some days I feel like I'm going crazy..I'll pull the clothes out and go through them...then I can't bear it and have to pack them away..then again I pull them out...sigh...please hurry and come home before I'm buying teenage clothing for you :)

Scott and I just celebrated our 16th anniversary! We decided to escape on a warm 4 day getaway - so rejuvinating and a beautiful way to finish off the summer.  We have had so many amazing experiences and memories over the almost 20 years we have been together..I'm a lucky gal.



Okay..fall HAS to bring good news..I'm channeling every ounce of good energy to South Africa to finally feel peace that children will be joined with forever families.. and our two boys can finally give their sister a long overdue hug.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Highs and Lows..

I'll start with the "Low"...we received an adoption update this month..more delays.  It seems the review on our program is again delayed another 3 months.  A really hard hit as we were really feeling confident that this was it, things were finally going to move and we would shift closer to meeting our babe.  It's been a couple weeks that we have had the news and I really haven't been able to talk about it much as it seems so unbelievable, so sad for all of the kids needing their forever families..so sad for all of the families here wanting so much to hold these children.  There have been some dark days..just so many questions unanswered.  Power in numbers - a committee is being formed from the waiting families, my hope is that together we can move a mountain and finally see some light at the end of this long wait.  Time to dry the tears and bring our children home.

The "Highs" are definitely keeping us going through this scary process.  There are two little boys here that are keeping us smiling which constantly reminds us of how fortunate we really are. 

Sunny had his first experience with sleep away camp with two of his good buddies from school. He was soo excited and came home with an abundance of mosquito bites and a big smile..many good stories to tell!  I am still recovering from no sleep all week worrying about him..so many scenario's going through my head.  Why do they have to go and grow up anyway?..One big milestone accomplished.  Slamster of course asked when he could go..NEVER I replied..with a smile on my face ;)..

Slamster is working on his "whip kick" in swimming lessons today..he seems to have invented his own stroke which is quite interesting to watch..definitely need to bring the video camera before the week is over..so sweet.

Our flower garden is beautiful..I love the wild, weeds can grow throughout and no one will notice kind of garden.  No pressure..I try and plant drought tolerant as it's survival of the fittest around here in the summer.  I figure "I'm not raisin' a garden"..no pressure.  I think there are even some tomatoes stuck in there somewhere that we will enjoy sometime soon...maybe!


These bee balm smells soo good.


Organized chaos..just how we like it!

Our "African Daisy" This little darlin' gets a sweet hello every mornin'..

Sunny took this one..photographer in the house for sure!

Nothing better than fresh, free flowers filling the house throughout the summer!

We are gearing up for a road trip to Chicago..some amazing friends live there and we are in desparate need of a fix!  Soo excited to revisit favorite places and relax in company of people "who get it".  Soo I filled up on stacks of books for the boys at the library, pickin' up yummy snacks, loadin' up our ipods and we are soon off for another fun filled adventure. 

Amongst the dark days we are thankful for the sunny ones...

Monday, July 11, 2011

gotta love summertime...

For us, summertime is a time to play together. Time to decompress and switch up the schedule - less organized stuff and more spontaneous fun! We thought we would kick of the season with a trip to Montreal..we have never taken a train long distance together so we thought why not? LOVE taking the train - no traffic/ no maps/ no bathroom stops...just cards, reading and scenery..good fun.

silly boys...


The city was full of life, so much to discover, so much history, good food, wine and laughs...

Chinatown

Notre-Dame Basilica

Stunning.

What a view!
Waiting for fireworks!

Hiking at Mount Royal

Best Buds 

 We were on a quest to find the best bagel place in town - mission accomplished!

Waiting for the sound and light show at the Basilica to start!

Beautiful
Boys wanted to visit an old prison that they heard about from their friends..

Testing out smoked meat in Old Montreal - yum!


So lots of walking, lots of laughs..and home we went.






 .

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Angels

Before this world of adoption became a big part of my world I had no idea that there were so many people dedicating so much time and love working in orphanages or safe homes as they are called in South Africa.  From what I have learned many young  people take a year or more to volunteer and make a difference.  Many people spend their lives  fighting  for donations endlessly to make ends meet and care for these children.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to feel responsible for so many little ones often on around the clock schedules.

Recently, I was wandering through a craft fair and stumbled upon this card which again reminded me of these angels.


                                                                                                by  Roxane Tracey
                                                                                                   http://www.poeticart.ca/

Friday, June 10, 2011

What's in a name?

Some days I can swear that I can sense our daughter's name starts with the letter "N" but then I think I am seriously going crazy and shake my head.  I just wish I had a crystal ball!! I feel she is out there and I don't want to call her "she" or "her" any longer.."she" needs a name!...hmm..her name..such a big decision.

We are expecting a toddler so of course there are so many things to consider.  By now I am expecting "she" knows her name..is it really fair to change it?  So much will already be new, to have a new name too..If her birth mother chose her name, a big part of me feels like I should honour that and of course keep it..but then what if it is so very difficult to pronounce in our country..is that fair to her?  Will she care?  Will she just love it because it is unique and part of her or will people constantly ask her where she got her name and question her "story" even more than is already expected.  I guess there is no right answer..I have to believe we will know as this plan unfolds..

Some families I have learned move the childs birth name to her middle name..some children come home with more western names that orphange care givers have given them. 

Many of the children who have joined their forever families from the South African program have a Zulu background.  For fun, I have been cruising through the Zulu names hoping that one will pop out at me and I will just know..didn't work..soo here are some that I have discovered :)

Amahle - the beautiful one
Ayanda - they augment (the family)
Busisiwe - blessed
Gugu - precious
Mbali - flower
Nkosingiphile - the Lord gave me
Nolwazi - the one with knowledge
Nomathemba - hope
Nomusa - with grace
Siphokazi - gift
Thabisa - bring joy
Zama - try

Monday, June 6, 2011

wish upon a star

        My sweet babe turns 8 today..

I want to tuck him into my pocket and keep him little forever.



He blew out his candles and whispered "I want my little sister home soon"..

Love this boy :)

On with the festivities!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

a room with a view

Walking past your room today I noticed the trees flowering outside your bedroom window.





I so wish you were here to see them..

Monday, May 16, 2011

Crazy Dayz

Every spring I am amazed at how the days seem to fill themselves so quickly and unexpectedly once the tulips start to bloom.  For us it really started happening when the boys were in the full swing of school and sports and the notes home regarding music recitals, football practice etc. started littering my computer space.  As crazy as it seems in the moment, all it takes is a victory cheer for a touch down or a quiet smile when a difficult piece on a violin has been played well to realize that these are the days that Scott and I will look back and cherish. 

Lately, we have had some later than usual evenings and I have noticed the boys taking turns in their sisters room and slipping into her bed with a book.  They claim that they may be coming down with a cold and don't want to infect the other but secretly I suspect they long for this little girl more than they want to let on knowing our hearts are in such a vulnerable spot.  We have been trying to protect them from disapointment and hurt during this wait and I now realize that they too are sheilding us from the unknown in their own way.  They are so precious.  Our little girl will be welcomed by two of the most loving boys.

With Mothers Day just behind us, I was tucking Sunny in and he looked sad.  I asked him what was wrong and he stated that he was so sad for his sister.  I asked him why and he expressed that he was sad for the fact that his sister will never see her mom...wow..they get it more than I give them credit for.  So of course it has opened up conversation which is priceless.  I asked him if I could share this info and he was very open to it.

So anyway, that's where we are these days..healthy, happy, but sad too.  We feel stuck. Stuck in the system and feeling very much in limbo.  I wish I could with my whole heart know this would work out and our daughter would be home with us very soon but with all the disapointments lately I am trying to feel positive but at the same time I am very guarded.  I hate it, it's so not my nature.  I had a dream she came home to us and brought a friend..hmm. perhaps it's a sign.

Let's hope.

Friday, April 29, 2011

2 more..

I really, really thought April would be the end to a long pause in referrals.  The review has taken months and it seems it will now take another 2 1/2 months until we receive another update..I don't really know what to say except that we are so sad.  It's so hard to understand why it's so hard to bring our daughter home to us.  We can feel her calling us and I want nothing more than to pick her up and tell her that she is home.  I really hope this all makes sense someday as it's breaking our hearts.  I feel so helpless right now.  The only place I can go is to trust that there is a plan in all this and that if it's meant to happen it will...how else do I process it.  I do picture our daughter well cared for wherever she is and hoping this is harder on us than it is on her.

I've spent the morning channeling my negative energy into cleaning our house. I have a feeling it will never be this clean again.  I guess that's better than the other options I could have chosen...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Here comes Peter Cotton Tail..

Happy Easter Everyone :)

This special Easter Tree is a yearly tradition that we look forward to..

Chicks made out of pinecones!

More egg dying!



Happy Egg Hunting!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Distracting Myself..

Wow..this wait is really starting to wear on me.  I was so certain we would have some good news by now..some days I find it's hard to remain positive and hopeful..I know you are coming home to us sweet one it just seems like forever since we have had good news to hold on to.  I need to tuck you in and hold your hand.

In the meantime I have been occupying myself with a hobby that allows me to escape for awhile..I make stained glass panels.  My good friend Nic introduced me to this art and I've been hooked ever since.  My grandmother made many, many beautiful quilts during her life and I always admired that about her.  I am useless with fabric but glass feels comfortable to me.  So I carry on the tradition of working with patterns and piecing things together..I just use a different medium.

I love finding old Victorian patterns and reproducing them..


A little something I am working on now for a friend who loves birds..

My next project is a mystical dragon that my boys have been asking for to hang in their bedroom window...then..I have found a beautiful African Princess pattern for a little someone special...;)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

SA Outing

I enjoyed a fun evening at a local South African boutique with a friend this past weekend. Great night listening to South African music, tasting local fare and even a glass of fabulous South African wine!  I can't wait to visit this beautiful country to learn and experience all that we can about our daughters heritage.

These are some of the gorgeous Zulu beaded bracelets, and other fun things I picked up :)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

check..check...double check

Well, we are now into April..we have been anxiously waiting to hear if the review on our program is finally finished.  Recently, on our adoption board many waiting families reintroduced themselves which was great as we are all gearing up to celebrate the happy news of children joining their forever families.  I find myself checking our adoption website obsessively  more often than usual to hear ..something..

My friend just came over and showed me the most adorable picture of a sweet Ethiopian babe that their family will be bringing home :))) It really made my day to feel that happy energy, the excitement to plan for the arrival of this beautiful child..sigh..it made me smile to catch a glimpse of a future playmate for our daughter.  I can't wait to share stories with our children of our time waiting for them.

The snow has melted, I think I'll order some mulch and get into the garden..better get ready as I'm told when that referral does come in, the planning is fast and furious. 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Gotcha

They asked for it. They said "Mom, you had better make it good this year..last year your April Fool's prank was lame"...mistake no.1.  I thought convincing them that Sydney Crosby switched to figure skating was pretty original...told them it was all over the news..they wouldn't admit it, but boy were they sad...So I knew I had to get them early before they were reallly expecting anything this year.  First preparation: switch main clock back 2 hours. Next: listen for Slamster to stir and watch silently as he prepares to wake household (regular routine).  Then smile as he screams "Mom, we slept in, it's after 9:00 - School has STARTED!..poor soul, he is such a planner and time keeper, I almost felt guilty for putting him under such distress but then I reminded myself of of the high expectation they had yearned for the day before.  Slamster then dashes into the bedroom and screams at Sunny that they have to go..today is the beach dance party and they are going to be late!  Sunny is frantic infront of the mirror as he always wants time for his shower and time to perfect the left swich of his hair that Justin Bieber recently fashioned.  Backpacks, homework, balls, boots, coat and out the door they went.  I offered to drive them today (usually we walk)..I pulled up to the school carefully explaining that they are to make sure they get a late slip and apologize to their teachers..hee hee..off they went runnning up the walk to the school, as Sonny reached for the front door he heard me yell "BOYS " they turned "APRIL FOOLS".  I still crack myself up laughing when I think  of those blank stares and then the big smiles spreading over their faces.."that was awesome MOM!..but..but the clock said 9:15...?  So gullible at this tender age.  It's going to take a little more creativity for next year I am sure.  It also worries me that I am setting myself up for some pretty good pranks as these little rascals get older..I love my boys..sigh.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Aliou

Aliou is a little boy who touched our hearts several years ago.  He lives in Senegal with a house full of brothers and hard working parents.  His father is a peanut farmer and his mother takes care of the family.  We met Aliou through World Vision sponsorship while we were in the early stages of understanding the pressing need for assistance throughout Africa.  The thought of parents not having enough food to feed their children or medication to cure illness was overwhelming to us.  These kids were no different than ours.  We had asked around and several people recommended World Vision as a great organization to sponsor through.  We signed on and expected a picture of this child and a brief history..we expected this experience would teach our children compassion, we thought our children would learn about another part of the world different that their own..we expected to feel good about helping a family......well,  4 years later what I didn't expect was to create a beautiful bond with a little boy who calls me his foster mom.  Aliou has been such a blessing in our family, the letters started coming every few months describing his family life, his excitement to start school, the chores looking after the animals he is expected to do everyday..the cold nights and the long rains, the years of good crops and bad..but mostly his concern for our family and our welfare. Not a letter arrives that Aliou asks about our health and hopes that we all feel well, if I forget to speak of our health in a letter he sends one back requesting the information and reminds me that I didn't mention it.  This really made me realize how much we take for grated our health here in Canada.  It reminded me of the vulnerablity of people when good medical care isn't readily available...this sweet boy is concerned for us..he tells me that his family prays for us regularly.   This is so comforting to me knowing that a family we have never met thinks of us and prays for us.  Often when things are tough I am reminded of this and it gives me strengh.  I am so grateful for this.  Often when our boys are asked to describe our family at school, they never forget to mention their sponsor brother Aliou who is the same age and has the same birthdate as  our nine year old.  It is special for them and I hope we can someday meet Aliou and his family.  When several months go by and we haven't heard from him in awhile, we start getting concerned and worried for him..we really love him and didn't expect this when we first chose sponsorship.

Sponsoring a child really is a wonderful thing for everyone, it has made our life richer and our hearts open.  Ideally, in a perfect world families could stay together and adoption wouldn't be needed. We have gotten back so much more than we have given. My hope is to sponsor a little girl from South Africa when our daughter comes home.  There are many great organizations out there, if you are interested, you can browse the World Vision website here. In addition, I have recently read that Emmanuel's Wish Foundation will also be setting up sponsorship options which is wonderful!

The other day, another snow storm hit..the wait for our little girl felt unbearable..the house was a mess..I opened the mailbox to find two letters from Senegal..I'm a happy mom.  Thanks Aliou.



Saturday, March 19, 2011

Fun in the Sun!

I have to start by saying that sun and palm trees really do a wonder for the soul.  Especially at the end of a long and emotional winter.  It was so great to just relax with the boys and "take a break" from the regular routine.  Our 2nd grader "Slamster" (his requested online name) brought a project along with him..Flat Stanley, a popular fictional character from a book series,  joined us on almost all of our outings and seemed to really enjoy Florida as much as we did..lol!  We printed pictures yesterday so the boys could make up their albums and yes Stanley showed up in many! It made me smile when  I overheard Slamster mention that his sister is going to love this place when we bring her or Sunny wondering which Disney character will be her favourite.. It has been quite awhile since our family took a vacation via airplane.  We have been saving $$ to cover adoption costs and have chosen to "play" a little closer to home.  This getaway in some ways felt like a trial run to our big South African trip in terms of flying and general travel. Both our boys have always traveled well with one exception..our fourth grader "Sunny" (again chosen name) gets extreme motion/altitude sickness.  I really thought he was outgrowing this problem but wow..we had a rough trip home with this little guy.  He wears the wrist bands with the pressure points which helps..I did not go the Gravol route this time as the last time I tried it, he slept but woke up in shear panic because his ears were not popping and he was so scared.  Okay, so now I am really freaked as this was only a few hours and a trip to SA well..lets say 24 hours or so?  We really want the boys to join us but I don't want Sunny to resent us for making him go..at this point he is adamant that he is not going..sigh...I just know the pros will out way the cons. Any suggestions out there?
 

On another note, we just updated our police checks which was a recent request from our agency.  I have to say, it was kinda nice to be doing something regarding our file. It's really hard not having any control. I'm feeling a little frantic lately about getting some positive news.  I've been trying to remain calm and I was so focused on going away and now..well..back to reality and needing to hold our daughter... 



Spring is a time for fresh, new beginnings - bring it on!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Little Green Men.

Well, those naughty little leprechauns came and got into mischief last night while we slept..toppling chairs and making a mess in the kitchen.  We started the day with green smoothies, fiddle music and tatoos...our plan is to liven up the last few days of winter! Happy St.Patrick's Day everyone :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

The real deal

In the early days I  came into this world of adoption pretty ignorant I guess I could say.  I started reading a lot.  I really was fascinated by personal stories and I followed many blogs (yes lurked on many..sorry but thank you!) I cried a lot for all the broken families that were pulled apart due to AIDS and poverty and I am still learning so much every day.  I have to say, often when I would tell people that we were adopting they would immediatly ask "are you not afraid your child will be HIV positive?" I explained the process and ensured them that I would not put my family at risk and I personally couldn't manage a very ill child.  Now, I would have to say I would answer them differently.  No, our child will not have HIV but I have learned that children with HIV can live long normal lives with the help of medication.  They are beautiful normal children that have to take some extra precautions.  They can share a drink, play normal activities, this illness cannot be spread through casual contact.  There is still such a stigma around this illness that needs to be changed.

I still have so much to learn but I can't wait.

This is a story of an amazing family that are parenting children with HIV and what a blessing they are...enjoy.


Friday, March 4, 2011

Everything Counts

An article was just posted within our adoption group..it speaks so true as to what we are going through.  I thought it was definitely worth sharing.



Everything Counts
When you're waiting to adopt, you count each day that passes. But how should I
count my daughter-to-be, who is already a part of me?
By Michele Gautsch
Adoptive Families Magazine

One of the little-known facets of adoption is the counting phenomenon. You may
count regardless of the route you're following: domestic, foster, or
international. Having formed a large family through birth and domestic and
international adoption, however, I would say that international counting is the
trickiest. You count everything, and, no, it's not just us compulsive,
controlling types.

You count the paper chase (and each step within it). You count the months from
dossier landing and anticipating a referral. Once you get the referral, you
count the weeks until court, the weeks until a travel date is set, the days
until takeoff. Then you count the days you are in-country. I also count eight
hours ahead each day, to account for my daughter's time zone, just to think
about what she might be doing at that moment.

Of course, if you are an unnaturally laid-back person, or detached in the
spiritual sense, perhaps you don't count. You live in the moment. Good for you.
I'm not so holy. I count.

A Numbers Game
Recently, as I was running errands one late afternoon, I noticed another kind of
counting rattling in my brain. I was counting kids. I am often asked how many
children I have. This usually happens when I show up at the supermarket
checkout, my shopping cart piled high, or when my husband, Tom, and I have all
the kids, big and small, in tow. On this day, I was shopping for stocking
stuffers, and buying in bulk, when I thought, well, how do you respond to that
question when you are in process limbo?

I could just say I have seven children. Count the bouncy balls rolling around in
my cart: seven. Because, while on this side of the world, we've been given the
OK and it's nearly a formality that Marta is our daughter, on the other side, in
Ethiopia, it is not yet a done deal. Until the adoption is official, according
to her country's legal process, I'm not sure that I can baldly say, "I have
eight children." I don't want to overstate. There have been a few times when I
did say eight, but then I always felt a need to clarify. "We are waiting for the
court approval, so we can go get her…bring her home." Eight seems…not quite
there. Seven, meanwhile, says that I am short-shrifting Marta, so far away.

Making Sense of Uncertainty
Maybe I can't claim my daughter until the court says she is ours, but Marta is
already a part of the fabric of me and us. I have claimed her in my heart and
head. I have fought for her. I have prayed for her.

Over time, I have found that the way for me to get through the long haul of the
adoption process is to celebrate, mark, and be happy for each step taken.
Checking one day off our countdown means we're one step closer to our daughter.
We need every step we can get in this marathon! So, yes, I count eight. And if
something unthinkable should happen, I will still have eight children, I will
just be torn from one.

Once the wait is over, we will bring her home and she will begin to claim us,
too. And we'll start a new count together. A different counting, forward and
infinite, to mark the beginning of a new weave in our family.

And that day in the store? I bought Marta a bouncy ball, just because. I
counted.



Michele Gautsch lives in Tennessee with her husband, Tom, and eight kids,
through birth and adoptions from the U.S. and Ethiopia. She blogs at
anotherespressoplease.blogspot.com.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Any news yet?

We are not the only ones hoping to hear happy news.  Extended family members, friends from all over Canada, the US..the UK.., teachers, neighbours,..the nice lady at the drycleaners...we all wait for "her".  As much as it is hard for us to say "nope..no news yet"..we are so grateful for the support during this long winter.  I find myself not wanting to partake in "stuff" because I just don't want to explain.  I know this is so ridiculous..I just wish I had better news to come back with...can't wait 'till we do! 

We have decided to escape for a week and feel the sun..Florida bound it is :)..we had originally decided to postphone any trips until we got back from SA but plans change.  We need to refuel, regroup and hopefully get ready for some excitement comin' our way.  Soo we are trying to find ways to stay positive and fight the winter rut..sand, cocktails, pools..yup, that should do it :)...luckily we had some points saved up that are expiring in March..don't need to ask me twice!



So while wait..we wait together.  In addition, we belong to an adoption community of other families waiting.  Glad we are not in this alone.  Message boards, blogs..e-mails have been quiet lately..I get it. 

I think we are all just "holding our breath". 

I so look forward to the happy, nervous energy of "getting ready" again...



Friday, February 11, 2011

dream.

Inspiring Article

My South Africa by Jonathan Jansen

Wednesday, 09 February 2011
prof.jonathanjansen_blogphoto.jpgMy South Africa is the working-class man who called from the airport to return my wallet without a cent missing. It is the white woman who put all three of her domestic worker's children through the same school that her own child attended. It is the politician in one of our rural provinces, Mpumalanga, who returned his salary to the government as a statement that standing with the poor had to be more than just a few words. It is the teacher who worked after school hours every day during the public sector strike to ensure her children did not miss out on learning.

My South Africa is the first-year university student in Bloemfontein who took all the gifts she received for her birthday and donated them - with the permission of the givers - to a home for children in an Aids village. It is the people hurt by racist acts who find it in their hearts to publicly forgive the perpetrators. It is the group of farmers in Paarl who started a top school for the children of farm workers to ensure they got the best education possible while their parents toiled in the vineyards. It is the farmer's wife in Viljoenskroon who created an education and training centre for the wives of farm labourers so that they could gain the advanced skills required to operate accredited early-learning centers for their own and other children.

My South Africa is that little white boy at a decent school in the Eastern Cape who decided to teach the black boys in the community to play cricket, and to fit them all out with the togs required to play the gentelman's game. It is the two black street children in Durban, caught on camera, who put their spare change in the condensed milk tin of a white beggar. It is the Johannesburg pastor who opened up his church as a place of shelter for illegal immigrants. It is the Afrikaner woman from Boksburg who nailed the white guy who shot and killed one of South Africa's greatest freedom fighters outside his home.

My South Africa is the man who went to prison for 27 years and came out embracing his captors, thereby releasing them from their impending misery. It is the activist priest who dived into a crowd of angry people to rescue a woman from a sure necklacing. It is the former police chief who fell to his knees to wash the feet of Mamelodi women whose sons disappeared on his watch; it is the women who forgave him in his act of contrition. It is the Cape Town university psychologist who interviewed the 'Prime Evil' in Pretoria Centre and came away with emotional attachment, even empathy, for the human being who did such terrible things under apartheid.

My South Africa is the quiet, dignified, determined township mother from Langa who straightened her back during the years of oppression and decided that her struggle was to raise decent children, insist that they learn, and ensure that they not succumb to bitterness or defeat in the face of overwhelming odds. It is the two young girls who walked 20kms to school everyday, even through their matric years, and passed well enough to be accepted into university studies. It is the student who takes on three jobs, during the evenings and on weekends, to find ways of paying for his university studies.

My South Africa is the teenager in a wheelchair who works in townships serving the poor. It is the pastor of a Kenilworth church whose parishioners were slaughtered, who visits the killers and asks them for forgiveness because he was a beneficiary of apartheid. It is the politician who resigns on conscientious grounds, giving up status and salary because of an objection in principle to a social policy of her political party. It is the young lawman who decides to dedicate his life to representing those who cannot afford to pay for legal services.

My South Africa is not the angry, corrupt, violent country those deeds fill the front pages of newspapers and the lead-in items on the seven-o'-clock news. It is the South Africa often unseen, yet powered by the remarkable lives of ordinary people. It is the citizens who keep the country together through millions of acts of daily kindness.

* This article originally appeared in Mango's inflight magazine. 

http://www.sagoodnews.co.za/blog/my_south_africa_by_jonathan_jansen.html



Sunday, February 6, 2011

Fast Forward

Well, we got word this week that there may be another two month delay as CIC conducts a review on our program.  I know this is in the best interests of the children and in the long run it secures the South African program..I know this is most important..but we are soo anxious to get some good news...

So we pulled it together and decided to head into the city and enjoy some rootbeer floats, a movie and a night out with the boys...originally we were excited to see a documentary showing called "Mama Africa" and after getting settled into our seats and watching 15 min. the projecter stopped working..sigh..so Narnia in 3D it was!

I try to remind myself that someday we will have our little girl for a lifetime..an extra two more months..we can wait, we can. 

I just wish we could fast forward to the good part.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

SNOW DAY!!!

Don't you remember the excitment of the anticipated snow day!!  It's the reward for enduring the long, cold Canadian winter..yesterday, news on the street was that a huge storm was heading our way so of course everyone was makin' fun plans.  Our little guy came home from school and told us that his teacher advised the class to wear their pajama's inside out if they wanted a snow day to happen! SOOO of course that was the plan - we all slept with our pj's inside out!  Guess what -  it worked :)




The morning started with the excitment of early morning cartoons instead of packing lunches, violin practice, and..the rush.  We all enjoyed hot chocolate in our new favourite mugs that just arrived from Shanie!   Gorgeous - they make us smile!



By 8:45 it started..the phone was ringin' with hockey plans..sooo we told em' all to get over here and start shovelin' off the rink!  Of course it always amazes me how eager 9 year old boys are to shovel a hockey rink but ask them to shovel a driveway and they look at you all confused! 




                  Clearing the rink took longer than expected but in the end it was worth it :)


By two o'clock and tying 10 pairs of skates later the rink was full and then a massive snowball fight started...yikes.  Pizza and chips outside and everyone was smiling :)



                                   Of course then everyone was wet n' cold so this happened...




     Popcorn, hot chocolate and movie time...whew..good memories..I need a nap!




The boys spotted a pink helmet they want to get for their sister when she comes home..can't wait.



Cheers to snow days!!! But seriously one is enough..let's hope school is back in tomorrow :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ten.



            Never thought we'd be waiting at the 10 month mark. 
                       Guess I've been wrong before...
                           Better not get to 11..sigh.



Thursday, January 20, 2011

Hope

Just thinking about all of the beautiful babes today that have wonderful families and homes waiting to welcome them.  I am so thankful for all of the people helping us make our dream come true..so many friends and family members who have listened endlessly...I'm thinking about the caregivers in the baby homes and our agency and social workers who work tirelessly to make this all happen. It really is amazing to me that there are soo many people that we will probably never meet that have a hand at bringing our child to us.  Thank you for that.  I'm thinking about our child's birth family today..please know we admire your courage..there are no words. 

A friend passed on this quote to me today:

"Somewhere, something, someone incredible is waiting to be known."

Love that.

Hope to meet you soon little one.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Finding the Good

Well, our family dilema today is finding a Harry Potter costume on short notice.  Our 4th grader is presenting a book report on Monday and has to act out in costume a part in his chosen book.  Sounds simple enough but of course he leaves the costume bit up to mom.  He has soo much faith in the fact that I can whip up a perfect cloak on my sewing machine..problem is..I don't sew.  I do consider myself to be fairly crafty but for some reason when it comes to fabric, it usually ends badly.  This morning I was reminded several times to plllllease get the fabric for the cloak..knowing full well I'm going to be scouring the Goodwill and all party stores in the area..First I check kijiji found one - $40..hmmm too much for a one day event.  So I'm standing in the costume section of the first party store and overhear a couple desprately looking for a kings cloak but of course none to be found.  Ironically, I just filled a bag to send to the Goodwill and within the toys, games etc is a kings cloak :)..so I rush out to the car and walk back in with the red cloak that both my son's adored for many years and handed it over.  They were soo happy and we laughed at the situation.  Okay, so back to Harry..no costumes anywhere for me so 3 stores later I end up in a small Goodwill store near my house and drop off all the donations, walk in and start searching..nothing.  I walk up to the sales clerk and ask about costumes..she says "what are you looking for?"...I reply "Harry Potter cloak".  She then proceeds to tell me that her son has the full outfit in the exact size that I am looking for and she'll lend it to me!  What are the odds?  I guess the bottom line is that in this week full of snow shoveling, viruses in the house, vacuuming, laundry etc. I'm going to do my best to remember that I'm not alone in this..I can feel it.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Tree Hugger

                                               I found this here..so sweet..I love it..