Aliou

Aliou is a little boy who touched our hearts several years ago.  He lives in Senegal with a house full of brothers and hard working parents.  His father is a peanut farmer and his mother takes care of the family.  We met Aliou through World Vision sponsorship while we were in the early stages of understanding the pressing need for assistance throughout Africa.  The thought of parents not having enough food to feed their children or medication to cure illness was overwhelming to us.  These kids were no different than ours.  We had asked around and several people recommended World Vision as a great organization to sponsor through.  We signed on and expected a picture of this child and a brief history..we expected this experience would teach our children compassion, we thought our children would learn about another part of the world different that their own..we expected to feel good about helping a family......well,  4 years later what I didn't expect was to create a beautiful bond with a little boy who calls me his foster mom.  Aliou has been such a blessing in our family, the letters started coming every few months describing his family life, his excitement to start school, the chores looking after the animals he is expected to do everyday..the cold nights and the long rains, the years of good crops and bad..but mostly his concern for our family and our welfare. Not a letter arrives that Aliou asks about our health and hopes that we all feel well, if I forget to speak of our health in a letter he sends one back requesting the information and reminds me that I didn't mention it.  This really made me realize how much we take for grated our health here in Canada.  It reminded me of the vulnerablity of people when good medical care isn't readily available...this sweet boy is concerned for us..he tells me that his family prays for us regularly.   This is so comforting to me knowing that a family we have never met thinks of us and prays for us.  Often when things are tough I am reminded of this and it gives me strengh.  I am so grateful for this.  Often when our boys are asked to describe our family at school, they never forget to mention their sponsor brother Aliou who is the same age and has the same birthdate as  our nine year old.  It is special for them and I hope we can someday meet Aliou and his family.  When several months go by and we haven't heard from him in awhile, we start getting concerned and worried for him..we really love him and didn't expect this when we first chose sponsorship.

Sponsoring a child really is a wonderful thing for everyone, it has made our life richer and our hearts open.  Ideally, in a perfect world families could stay together and adoption wouldn't be needed. We have gotten back so much more than we have given. My hope is to sponsor a little girl from South Africa when our daughter comes home.  There are many great organizations out there, if you are interested, you can browse the World Vision website here. In addition, I have recently read that Emmanuel's Wish Foundation will also be setting up sponsorship options which is wonderful!

The other day, another snow storm hit..the wait for our little girl felt unbearable..the house was a mess..I opened the mailbox to find two letters from Senegal..I'm a happy mom.  Thanks Aliou.

Fun in the Sun!

I have to start by saying that sun and palm trees really do a wonder for the soul.  Especially at the end of a long and emotional winter.  It was so great to just relax with the boys and "take a break" from the regular routine.  Our 2nd grader "Slamster" (his requested online name) brought a project along with him..Flat Stanley, a popular fictional character from a book series,  joined us on almost all of our outings and seemed to really enjoy Florida as much as we did..lol!  We printed pictures yesterday so the boys could make up their albums and yes Stanley showed up in many! It made me smile when  I overheard Slamster mention that his sister is going to love this place when we bring her or Sunny wondering which Disney character will be her favourite.. It has been quite awhile since our family took a vacation via airplane.  We have been saving $$ to cover adoption costs and have chosen to "play" a little closer to home.  This getaway in some ways felt like a trial run to our big South African trip in terms of flying and general travel. Both our boys have always traveled well with one exception..our fourth grader "Sunny" (again chosen name) gets extreme motion/altitude sickness.  I really thought he was outgrowing this problem but wow..we had a rough trip home with this little guy.  He wears the wrist bands with the pressure points which helps..I did not go the Gravol route this time as the last time I tried it, he slept but woke up in shear panic because his ears were not popping and he was so scared.  Okay, so now I am really freaked as this was only a few hours and a trip to SA well..lets say 24 hours or so?  We really want the boys to join us but I don't want Sunny to resent us for making him go..at this point he is adamant that he is not going..sigh...I just know the pros will out way the cons. Any suggestions out there?

 

On another note, we just updated our police checks which was a recent request from our agency.  I have to say, it was kinda nice to be doing something regarding our file. It's really hard not having any control. I'm feeling a little frantic lately about getting some positive news.  I've been trying to remain calm and I was so focused on going away and now..well..back to reality and needing to hold our daughter... 

Spring is a time for fresh, new beginnings - bring it on!

Little Green Men.

Well, those naughty little leprechauns came and got into mischief last night while we slept..toppling chairs and making a mess in the kitchen.  We started the day with green smoothies, fiddle music and tatoos...our plan is to liven up the last few days of winter! Happy St.Patrick's Day everyone :)

The real deal

In the early days I  came into this world of adoption pretty ignorant I guess I could say.  I started reading a lot.  I really was fascinated by personal stories and I followed many blogs (yes lurked on many..sorry but thank you!) I cried a lot for all the broken families that were pulled apart due to AIDS and poverty and I am still learning so much every day.  I have to say, often when I would tell people that we were adopting they would immediatly ask "are you not afraid your child will be HIV positive?" I explained the process and ensured them that I would not put my family at risk and I personally couldn't manage a very ill child.  Now, I would have to say I would answer them differently.  No, our child will not have HIV but I have learned that children with HIV can live long normal lives with the help of medication.  They are beautiful normal children that have to take some extra precautions.  They can share a drink, play normal activities, this illness cannot be spread through casual contact.  There is still such a stigma around this illness that needs to be changed.

I still have so much to learn but I can't wait.

This is a story of an amazing family that are parenting children with HIV and what a blessing they are...enjoy.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Everything Counts

An article was just posted within our adoption group..it speaks so true as to what we are going through.  I thought it was definitely worth sharing.



Everything Counts
When you're waiting to adopt, you count each day that passes. But how should I
count my daughter-to-be, who is already a part of me?
By Michele Gautsch
Adoptive Families Magazine

One of the little-known facets of adoption is the counting phenomenon. You may
count regardless of the route you're following: domestic, foster, or
international. Having formed a large family through birth and domestic and
international adoption, however, I would say that international counting is the
trickiest. You count everything, and, no, it's not just us compulsive,
controlling types.

You count the paper chase (and each step within it). You count the months from
dossier landing and anticipating a referral. Once you get the referral, you
count the weeks until court, the weeks until a travel date is set, the days
until takeoff. Then you count the days you are in-country. I also count eight
hours ahead each day, to account for my daughter's time zone, just to think
about what she might be doing at that moment.

Of course, if you are an unnaturally laid-back person, or detached in the
spiritual sense, perhaps you don't count. You live in the moment. Good for you.
I'm not so holy. I count.

A Numbers Game
Recently, as I was running errands one late afternoon, I noticed another kind of
counting rattling in my brain. I was counting kids. I am often asked how many
children I have. This usually happens when I show up at the supermarket
checkout, my shopping cart piled high, or when my husband, Tom, and I have all
the kids, big and small, in tow. On this day, I was shopping for stocking
stuffers, and buying in bulk, when I thought, well, how do you respond to that
question when you are in process limbo?

I could just say I have seven children. Count the bouncy balls rolling around in
my cart: seven. Because, while on this side of the world, we've been given the
OK and it's nearly a formality that Marta is our daughter, on the other side, in
Ethiopia, it is not yet a done deal. Until the adoption is official, according
to her country's legal process, I'm not sure that I can baldly say, "I have
eight children." I don't want to overstate. There have been a few times when I
did say eight, but then I always felt a need to clarify. "We are waiting for the
court approval, so we can go get her…bring her home." Eight seems…not quite
there. Seven, meanwhile, says that I am short-shrifting Marta, so far away.

Making Sense of Uncertainty
Maybe I can't claim my daughter until the court says she is ours, but Marta is
already a part of the fabric of me and us. I have claimed her in my heart and
head. I have fought for her. I have prayed for her.

Over time, I have found that the way for me to get through the long haul of the
adoption process is to celebrate, mark, and be happy for each step taken.
Checking one day off our countdown means we're one step closer to our daughter.
We need every step we can get in this marathon! So, yes, I count eight. And if
something unthinkable should happen, I will still have eight children, I will
just be torn from one.

Once the wait is over, we will bring her home and she will begin to claim us,
too. And we'll start a new count together. A different counting, forward and
infinite, to mark the beginning of a new weave in our family.

And that day in the store? I bought Marta a bouncy ball, just because. I
counted.



Michele Gautsch lives in Tennessee with her husband, Tom, and eight kids,
through birth and adoptions from the U.S. and Ethiopia. She blogs at
anotherespressoplease.blogspot.com.